If it weren’t for some of you, the world would be a better place but it would also be very boring… In every workplace, you will find the same types of people and I believe I have met all of them. I can walk into an office and within a half-hour have everyone scoped out.
So! Which one of these people do you work with? Are you any one of these people? Don’t lie either!
The Work Boo:
Just about everyone has had one of these! You two like one another, flirt with each other, buy each other lunch and may even go out after work. You text each other all day long and be very annoying to others around you. Everyone thinks they’re sleeping together because they act like Siamese twins. You may even become a target of someone's jealousy if you're always hanging out with a person who someone else likes. I mean do you have to sit together in meetings, luncheons, and office parties? I mean, really. Also, keep in mind –Work Boos are for work purposes only. So once you sleep with each other-Game Over!
The Ladies Man:
He is usually very good looking, confident, dresses well, has a charming personality…I mean his swag is like on 100 million! Lol …He’s very favored and praised on the job and can get away with almost anything. Almost all the ladies on the job flirt with him and are head over heels for him. He knows this so he will try his luck with all of them! He’s smooth because the ladies know he sleeps around and they don’t care. They want to be added to his roster too! Lol all I can say is- don’t get caught!
The Perfectionist:
They can never be wrong. They make sure all their “T’s” are crossed and “I’s” dotted. They absolutely hate to mess up. They analyze their work and the work of others very carefully, which is why they’re usually favored and most likely to succeed. They can be very direct, to the point, and blunt. They come off very rude so they may be disliked by others. And if you’re one of those lazy or half-assed employees they may come off very condescending to you. They follow protocol and procedures to a “T” and if they feel as if you’re not doing your job they will not hesitate to “throw you under the bus”. . But! There is always that one person who catches them slipping and ooh does that piss them off! Ha Ha!
The Kiss-Ass:
Everyone hates a Kiss-Ass. Even the ones who's getting their ass kissed by this individual. They just agree with any and everything you do or say. This type is sooo phonyyyyy! You will usually find them type in the supervisor’s office reporting everything that their peers do. This person is usually a snitch and will also throw people under the bus to gain approval from their superiors. This person will also kiss their coworker’s ass and try to be best friends the first day you meet them. They have a dire need to be liked by everyone around them and clearly has some serious self-esteem issues. My advice: Dr. Jeff Gardere (from Love & Hip-Hop Atlanta).
The Know-It-All:
***Sighs very loudly*** This person is absolutely impossible to train since they never shut up long enough for you to finish your sentence. They will cut you off thinking they know what you’re thinking or what you’re going to say next. No!! You’re wrong! Just be quiet and you might just learn something. This person is usually very argumentative or confrontational, narrow-minded and has a hard time grasping concepts. Because they know it all, they will usually do thing their way which almost always against protocol until they get “put in their respective place”. You have to talk to these people like children. Like this: “I. am. Speaking. Right. Now. You. Will. Get. Your . Turn. Once. I’m. Done. Okay?”
The Clown:
How could we not love this person? The office clown is usually a male and they are really needed in the workplace. They have a great sense of humor so they lighten the place up. They give the place some balance because we work around difficult people all day. They always have jokes and they are usually like by everyone. Sometimes they can be sarcastic-funny because they know they can get away with it. Beware of the clown who thinks they can say any and everything to anyone. These people will pass a slick comment off as a joke. As soon as you catch it-shut ‘em down immediately! Otherwise, keep laughing! LOL
The Fake Boss:
***Sighs very loudly*** again. Just have a seat please. These people can be very helpful because they really do know their stuff but they can also be incredibly annoying. They are always checking up on others to make sure they arrive to work on time, clocking out for lunch at an appropriate time, coming back from lunch on time, if you’re actually doing your work or socializing. They give orders and assignments like they run the show. Sometimes they even make up their own rules until you confirm with management. This is the type that may turn into a tyrant if they actually do become your boss. You do not want this person becoming your real boss! These people need to be shut down in a polite, matter-of-factly manner.
The Sour Puss:
Dontcha just wanna say, “Shut up with all that damn crying?’ These people are big babies who complain about everything- and it is usually a woman. Everything is always a damn problem with these people. They are not happy and don’t want to see others happy either. They always have something to negative to say and are some real “mood dampeners” and really know how to spoil your mood if you let them. They really act as if the world is coming to an end! This is why we need the office clowns! Avoid these sour pusses and block them out if you can’t cheer them up. Just whatever you do, don’t let that energy suck the life out of you!
The Office Bitch:
No one like this bitch–and I mean no one! If she ends up being your supervisor you’re in big trouble because you will get written up ‘till there aren’t any trees left to produce paper! This type usually comes to work with an attitude just about every day. She is hostile, jealous, and spiteful. This is the type who will try to embarrass you in front of others. She will condemn you every chance she gets. People like this thrive off of making others feel inferior. This person will steal your work and put their name on it! This can also be a male. We know we have some bitchassness coming from the males too but I’m not gonna get into that today! A good way to get back at an Office Bitch is by killing them with kindness, and unveiling their faults in a very professional manner. Don’t bother fighting fire with fire because they live for the drama! Also it just may work against you.
The Victim:
Please spare me. “Everyone is always doing something wrong to me. If I messed up it’s their fault because they didn’t explain it correctly. They wanted me to mess up. I never do or say anything wrong to these people. People are mean to me every day!” Sound like somebody you know? Everything with this person is so negative. These people will report you if they feel threatened by you. If you say "Hi" to them the wrong way, they think you have a problem with them. They blame people for stealing their work or for all their downfalls. This type is usually the most ineffective in the workplace. They think the entire world is against them so they spend less time focusing and too much time protecting themselves from I don’t know what?? If you can’t make them feel comfortable, just stay far away from these delusional people!
And Lastly, The Wanksta:
This employee obviously has a point to prove. They have probably been mistreated all their lives so now they want to come to work like they're the Big Bad Wolf. They know they can't really do nothing to you and most likely they won't! They come to work talking about how dangerous they can be when in reality they're just pathetic little lames. This type has a major complex and anything a person says or does that seems the least bit offensive, sets them off! These people are really harmless. All Bark, No Bite. Just extremely defensive and hiding behind a mask. I wouldn't even be worried if I were you! Chile please!
So...which one of these people seem familiar to you?
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